#MentalDetox: How’s your mind?

Hey there! Welcome back to my world of transformation! It’s what I live for. I’ve spent my whole adult life searching for ways to be better, do better, and live better. Even as a young adult, I didn’t realize that was my driving factor, but hindsight is 20/20. I see now that I always refused to settle, no matter how dire my circumstances looked. Even as a seventeen-year-old wife and mother, I had a vision for a better way of living. No one or nothing could take that dream away from me and my faith that God isn’t One to play favorites. If He did it for someone else, He could/would do it for me too. 

I feel like I am rambling! I want you to know that I have lived and breathed this concept of 'better' my whole life. I started searching for answers in God's word and self-help books. I wanted to find solutions to my questions and problems. Now here I am, and my daughters are all grown and wiser versions of myself. My next calling is to share this wisdom with the world. Life will never settle into a static position. The world around us is forever changing and evolving. Even when we are standing still we are being pushed, pulled, and tugged into movement. Most times, when we’re being moved without our intention, we’re being moved in the direction that others desire of us. 

I say all that to say this - it’s never too late to move in the direction that YOU desire. 

Last week, I introduced the topic of #DetoxDecember. Let's concentrate on pre-work and preparation. We can enter the next year as a new wineskin. This will attract new purpose, blessing, wisdom, knowledge, and reciprocity. I don’t know about you, but I was sick and tired of being sick and tired a long time ago. 

During the final three weeks of 2023, I will prioritize three crucial inner-world driving factors. These factors need urgent attention, care, and detoxification. 

Soul (will, mind, emotions)

Body

Life

This week we’ll start with the most important, our soul. 

I started reading Dr. Cindy Trimm’s 40-day Soul Fast at the end of the year during the COVID-19 pandemic. It was exactly what I needed at a low time in my life. I was battling suicidal, below-zero self-worth thoughts. My physical health was deteriorating due to neglect and overwhelming stress. I had created a chaotic life that was taking its toll. All three areas of me were on the verge of self-destruction. This book and its wisdom and exercises saved my life. God saved me through His servant willing to write this book. As well as the Christian-based therapist I started working with. And the medical team that provided the care I needed to get my physical health back on track. It took me a couple of years to recover in all areas. My journey began when I read a book. I realized I needed to stop mistreating myself. I had to listen and look at myself every day. Why would I abuse the person that I lived with the most?

When our bodies stop functioning anymore, it is our soul that continues to live. Regardless of your spiritual beliefs about the afterlife, the energy and essence of our souls will persist beyond our time on earth. Isn’t it interesting that the soul is the part of us that we tend to neglect and abuse? We'll start exercise routines, dieting programs, financial restorations, or career development. But we often forget the realistic factor that connects all these. Our soul. 

What we think, how we feel, and how we respond to both is what truly dictates how we move in this world. Even when we avoid looking within, we are still showing up in the world based on the health or dysfunction of our mind, will, and emotions. There is no escaping this truth. 

I won’t get too deep right now because this isn’t a book, this is a blog post! But, I hope that you are picking up what I am putting down. It’s time to detox your soul and stop neglecting and allowing yourself to be abused by you. You can’t blame anyone else for abusing you if you are first abusing yourself. If you surrender yourself to the Creator, he will avenge you. I say that to say, start looking Above and within.

As we embark on the task of looking within, it is time to make some hard and solid decisions. How in the world are we selfish towards ourselves? It makes me chuckle to type those words, but it’s true. Some women avoid self-reflection and investing in something like therapy like the plague. They refuse to commit to the journey of self-discovery. Ignoring the truth doesn't make the effects of avoidance disappear. You may be smiling on the surface, but inside your inner woman is crying, weeping to be acknowledged. 

The first step is to admit there is a problem. So, let’s do a quick overview of what this looks like. 

OUR MIND REIGNS SUPREME

I won’t bore you with the ins and outs of the human mind. We can all Google more information on this. What I do want to address is the fact that our mind is the weapon of ultimate victory. It is in our thoughts that we win or remain defeated. Joyce Meyer coined the phrase a long time ago, the battlefield of the mind. All wars in our lives are won and lost on the battlefield of our minds. Our mindset determines our peace, joy, happiness, or success. I talk about mindset a lot. I’ve come to learn that thinking differently will not only welcome healing but will open doors we never thought possible. 

Our minds determine what we see and how we perceive what we see. Our minds determine the triggering of emotions and how we respond. Our minds dictate what we will do or not do. 

I was watching the FX documentary Dear Mama over the weekend. I was so inspired by Afeni Shakur’s life and story, as well as a greater understanding and respect for who Tupac Shakur was. But what really inspired me was the truth of who the Black Panther Party truly was to our communities, to poor people, and to our country. When young black men attended meetings and rallies itching to get a gun in their hands to kill, they were met with a stack of books. Books to free and empower their minds. I remember one of the Panther veterans saying they were taught that the truest power is in a free mind with a gun. For killing was a resort of protection, not revenge. That started in the minds of the people who harness the weapons. Whether you agree with their methodology or not, the root of their intention was to free the minds of people to better their lives. The mind was the greatest weapon of all. 

If you decide right now today to show up in this world differently and as the woman you crave and dream of being, you will begin to move that way. When you do the work to find your healing and become acquainted with the knowledge of who you are, you become a powerful force that can manage your thoughts, will, and emotions. One who can manage themselves can take on anything in life with Divine help of course. God’s first line of transformation is also in the renewing of our minds. 

How should we start this journey? 

Detox Tip #1: 

Living in the now. They call this mindfulness. We can accept that the past is finished. The future is not yet here. This allows us to focus on the present. We can live with what we can do now. One foot in front of the other. One step at a time towards the future that we are created for. 

Detox Tip #2:

Remove the clutter. God's Spirit has led me to quiet the noise during the last couple of months of the year. I remove all the voices that I usually allow in my ears all year long. No more YouTube binges or podcast binges. How can you hear the nudges of God, your soul cries, or the voices divinely sent to empower and encourage you when you’re drowning in the opinions and thoughts of others? You can’t so for the rest of this year, I encourage you to cut it out. If you need to listen to a teacher - choose one. And focus on that one. Pull back on the music. I started listening to music without words. Lofi, instrumentals, high-frequency sounds, Andre 3000’s flute album (yes, I LOVE IT as much as I have always loved him). Pull back on the TV and social media drama. Take a break, Sis. Focus within. 

Detox Tip #3:

Withdraw and introspect. If you know that hanging out with friends and family will require clouding your judgment (i.e. drinking, smoking, gossiping, drama) then choose you. Bow out gracefully. How can you say you desire a different life and do the same things? What was that quote supposedly by Albert Einstein again about insanity? (look it up if you don’t know) You have to BE different to live differently, my sister. The bonus to this is that you will begin to recognize the toxicity that surrounds you. You will begin to see who or what needs to be left in this year as you embark on a new journey in the new year. You will recognize that you need to surround yourself with people who can HELP YOU be better and do better. Hire the therapist, or the coach, or join the community. Withdrawing and introspecting will pull you out of the picture so you can see it from a different angle. And at this angle, you can see who is missing and who needs to be missing. 

This is a little taste of this topic. I want to prompt you to begin to focus on who and what truly, truly matters for your future and your legacy. And she is you. God is waiting on you to ask for Help. Show Thankfulness. And be Wow’d by His amazing love. (Anne Lamott’s book Help. Thanks. Wow. is a breath of fresh air on the simplicity of prayer) We don’t have to make things hard. We need to set our intentions in a better direction. 

Let me know if this resonates with you! Are you willing to do the pre-game? I started two weeks ago! Catch up with me! It is GAME ON in January. Right now, I’m crawling through the process of detoxing and preparing for what is coming and how I want to show up when that time comes. Won’t you join me? 

Join me for the 40-day soul-fast first session this Friday. You don’t have to buy the book by then. We’ll do an introduction. Just decide to commit to investing some time and energy into yourself. You’ll never regret investing in yourself. 

Be encouraged, my sister. Be empowered. Be happy. 

Nikki