Empowering Connections: The Role of Self-Awareness
Without falling into a psychological rabbit hole, I can safely say that the many years that I spent craving and pursuing the validation of others was a result of feeling rejected and invaluable throughout my childhood. Not from abuse, per se but just broken parents raise broken children. They didn’t know that I perceived my upbringing in this way and yet it still played an intricate role in making me the insecure woman that I am.
I’d love to sit here and lie to you and say that I am reformed. I am in recovery. One day at a time, recovering from the need to please people, be validated by others, and only thrive when acknowledged by others. It’s a very lonely place to live. Other people will never, even when they are aware and try, fulfill the void of self-discovery, self-love, and self-commitment. Being confident in who we are, His masterpiece, is His best for us as unique individuals, so much so that there is not another person on this planet like us, from our fingerprints to our DNA to our perspectives on life.
This type of individual brokenness welcomes toxic relationships and dysfunctional bonds. A very hard lesson to learn in the school of hard knocks. You can read about this all day and twice on Sunday, never fully learning the lesson until you experience it.
Because every single one of us has some type of flaw in design or crack in craftsmanship, if we are not aware of our inner realities, we’ll spend all of our time, energy, and love seeking from others what will never come.
It is the freeing aspect of accepting this for ourselves and for others that we can begin to be the sister or friend that we need for others.
I was a horrible friend for years. I was so consumed by self-pity and avoidance that I didn’t see that I was just as toxic as the relationships that I welcomed. I can reassure you that the motive was not to harm or invoke havoc in people’s lives. It really was ignorance of my brokenness and the role that I played in the dysfunctionality. It was easy to blame others rather than look at the girl crying behind the eyes of the miserable woman.
It took many years of divine healing and learning how to heal and manage my inner woman to finally become the type of woman others wanted to be drawn to, spend time getting to know, and showing up for in the world.
My self-awareness made me the recipient of healthy, functional relationships.
When you are healthy and self-aware, it is very difficult to walk through life pridefully. When you recognize your own weaknesses and flaws, you have no choice but to be humble and understanding. A humble and understanding human being can welcome others with open arms and promises of a safe and supportive space.
Tyler Perry said, “All people want is to be seen and heard.” It’s super difficult to see and hear someone else when you haven’t first seen and heard yourself. More than that, walking through life with a heart to love others is impossible without seeing and hearing God. This is why my mantra is “Transformation comes from Above and within.”
How we love and relate to our Creator and ourselves becomes the reflection of our relationships with others.
It’s pretty hard to misuse, abuse, and devalue our friends, family, and peers when we see them through healthy eyes. Hurting people hurt people. Surely, you’ve heard this phrase before, but do you truly “hear” it?
Listen, Linda! No matter how much you try to skate over your own brokenness, it will always trickle out into your life externally. The stench of the pressed-down trash will always creep out from under the lid you tried to hide it under. You can’t treat people as well as you should if you aren’t treating yourself well.
In light of our conversation this week about the power of relational empowerment among our fellow women, I encourage you to embrace this lesson. There is no healthy friendship or sisterhood if you yourself do not commit to your own self-transformation. How do you ask? I’d love to tell you!
As a life transformation strategist, through my decades-long journey of self-awareness and self-healing, I’ve come to learn and apply my own strategy of transformation. I was only able to create it because I first lived it.
Knowing self. Loving self. Being self. Speaks to committing to a relationship with self, which includes discovery, time, grace, protection, and management. This methodology speaks to the need to engulf oneself in a self-discovery process and learn the skills, tools, and values to protect and transform one’s life, career, and relationships. If you are open to the power that comes from Divine love and revelation, then the better dimension of this methodology is to Know God, Be Loved by and Love God, and Be like God.
Remember, transformation comes from Above and within.
I said all of this to say that as we celebrate sisterhood and supportive, loving, healthy friendships, let us recognize that our inner work is vital to attracting and maintaining healthy sister-ships.
Imagine the power of two self-aware women in a bond to change the world. Powerful!
It’s time to be intentional, not just about the picking of our inner circles, but who those in our inner circle get in return. It needs to be worth their while and our own.
I am now offering One-on-One coaching based on this methodology (The KLB Strategy) as well as a group coaching opportunity. Please click here to schedule a Meet & Greet Strategy Call with me to discuss your interest in partnering with me to reconnect with your authentic self and become the woman who lives a transformational existence.
Also, don’t forget to register for our upcoming IWD Women’s Empowerment Roundtable - Webinar Style on March 28, 2024, from 6 to 8 pm EST. Bring your questions and your open mind and heart.
