Embrace Purpose and Combat Drifting through Life
What is Chaos?
Chaos, defined as "the state of utter confusion," happens when your life - thoughts, emotions, habits, relationships, finances, and decisions - proceed without your intentional guidance. It's the state where behavior and events seem uncontrollable. You feel like you’re being run by your world instead of having the leadership over it.” ~ Nikki Cates Miller, Is Chaos in Life What You Think It Is?
Are you drifting through life with no direction or intention? Are you being run by your world?
Trust me, I know exactly how this feels. You’re always tired. Not just tired but exhausted. Your energy is drained before your feet hit the floor out of bed. You stay frustrated and easily annoyed because life is an inconvenience; dealing with people, going place after place, tolerating circumstance after circumstance, and moving through the day desperately aiming to get back in bed. You wonder if living a life with purpose, on purpose, is a real concept because you and not a single person around you are living beyond survival and lack. You have this feeling inside you, buried beneath the fears and shame, that there must be more. There has to be better for you. If others are living fulfilling lives and working fulfilling careers, why can’t you too? You need life on the other side of your norm.
I can speak to this state of living with accuracy because I lived most of my life to this point in that state. No direction. No intention. No self-control or discipline. No self-awareness. No emotional stability or intelligence. No abundance. No energy. No fulfillment. No…purpose. Zero leadership or management in self and life.
I remember early in my friendship with my newest best friend, she mentioned that she felt that living in one’s purpose wasn’t a real thing. She also was not open to believing in a God that was bigger than us. She was speaking from a place of unhealed grief, trauma, and chaos. Today, I am happy to say that same friend was the first to congratulate me and tell me she was proud of me for walking in my purpose. She now acknowledges our God with some reservations about religion. (I don’t blame her one bit. I have them too!) And, she is walking out her healing and healthy grieving one day at a time.
To embrace the truth of purposeful living, we have to start with how clear we are on living life. When I say clear, I mean WHY ARE WE STILL BREATHING?
We’ve talked about the three P’s of transformation this month: Peace, Prosperity, & Purpose. We’ve learned that the enemy of having peace is survival mode. The enemy of prosperity and abundance is scarcity thinking and a poverty mindset. Now let’s talk about how purpose can change our whole perspective on ourselves, our Creator, and our lives. We need to gain clarity so we can develop intention and settle on a direction to walk in. Let’s stop drifting through life.
Drifting: Aimless, directionless, disconnected, unfulfilling, surrounded by chaos.
Living life like this is a prime breeding ground for depression and anxiety. As one who lives with an invisible disability and diagnosis of moderate to severe depression and anxiety, I can tell you that drifting through my life and relationships made my desire for emotional stability impossible. Just being on antidepressants won’t solve all the problems associated with drifting through life.
But how do you change this? For some of us, we’ll seek the psychological route first. For me, I started with myself and my life and then welcomed therapy and eventually medication. I encourage you, my sister, to just start. Swerve the urge to overthink yourself into analysis paralysis. If any of this resonates with you, schedule a therapy appointment AND start the inner work process of reconnecting with your beautiful inner woman who is crying to be seen, heard, and cared for.
Until we get back to the basics personally and spiritually, we cannot even begin to moderate and manage our lives or the world around us with purpose and intention. We need to be clear on who we are and who we are in this world. When we can stand as our stable, empowered, and true selves, the world around us will have to take notice and fall in line. We are then healthy enough to set boundaries, establish priorities, and align our lives with our values, beliefs, and purpose.
I mentioned our Creator. The Lord God in His infinite wisdom, love, grace, and mercy is otherworldly patient with us as we go through life living beneath our intended creation. Most of us on average don’t even begin to tap into our true potential for purposeful living before we leave this world. That has to be disheartening to a Father who loves His children more than we love our own. Just thinking about that on the smallest level is bananas to consider.
My mantra is: Transformation begins from Above and within.
All breakthroughs and transformations begin with welcoming in the Higher Power and empowering one’s inner self. The spiritual and inner worlds are what dictate the fulfillment of the outer worlds. The purpose of living in a world that seems to be fueled by chaos and drifting through life has to come from sources, not from the same world. I hope that makes sense. It’s powerful once you get it.
So what do you believe spiritually? Whether you believe in the Almighty Lord God or the universe, do you know what you truly believe? Or are you confused and chaotic in this also? How can you make any type of positive impact or influence on people around you if you don’t even know what you stand for?
To be frank, this is part of how some parents mess up their kids. They have zero foundation for their existence, so that is what they reproduce back out into the world. This reality has thrust me into my transformation journey. I couldn’t fathom releasing more broken, drifting, depressed, purposeless women back into a world that already lacked valuing and empowering them. I needed to show them how a woman should show up in the world.
So how do you begin to understand and align with your spiritual beliefs?
Shut out and quiet the noise of the world around you. It’s time to listen to the inner conversation. The outer world has told you enough. Listen for God’s still small voice. Listen for your inner voice crying to be heard. Learn how to practice mindfulness and meditation so you can calm and quiet your mind and listen. Pray. Ask for insight. Ask for peace. Ask for healing.
Seek knowledge, understanding, and wisdom. Google topics and questions that come to mind and seek out credible sources who teach on these topics. Read your Bible. The King James Version is intimidating even to me, who has been reading the Bible since I was a kid. In 2024, you can find a translation that works for you (or two or three). Go straight to the source of Christian faith and see how the manual tells you how to optimize humanity.
Seek out community. There is no lasting change without varying perspectives and accountability. Join a church or spiritual small group. Nowadays you can do this exclusively online, a hybrid blend of in-person and online, or fully in-person. We have choices now! Just start somewhere! When we are in communication with others who either have been where we are or are currently walking our path, it creates solid footing for our journey. We are not alone.
Jeremiah 29:11: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." This verse reassures that God has a purposeful plan for everyone. EVERYONE. EVEN YOU.
Let’s get practical now. HOW?
GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE. It’s time to stretch yourself, Sis. It’s uncomfortable to ask for help. It’s uncomfortable to let someone else in. It’s uncomfortable to see yourself as you are. It’s uncomfortable to see how far you have to go to where you desire to be. It’s uncomfortable to consider the risks tied to pursuing change.
Do you know what else is uncomfortable?
Staying the same. Staying broke, busted, and disgusted. Staying a doormat. Staying miserable in your prison sentence of a job and marriage. Staying mediocre. Staying in a state of shoulda, coulda, woulda.
Dr. Dharius Daniels says this all the time, “Choose your hard.”
ACCEPT THAT YOU’RE GOING TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE FOR A SEASON or two or three or four as you move through life’s journey.
Purpose is not a perfect existence. It doesn’t mean that stress, worries, problems, and struggles no longer exist. Even when one is living with peace, prosperity, AND purpose, this does not mean their lives are without issues, struggles, or inconsistencies.
Purpose means you’re no longer being dragged through life. You now feel connected and in partnership with God through it. It means there is LIFE in life. No more “walking dead.”
You know I can’t leave you without a to-do list. Here are some action steps to consider to shift from drifting through a chaotic life to having clarity and purpose…
Action Steps to Embrace Purpose and Combat Drifting
Psychological Steps:
Self-Reflection: Spend 10-15 minutes daily journaling about your interests, strengths, and values.
Set Goals: Write down three short-term and three long-term goals that align with your values.
Practice Mindfulness: Incorporate a 5-minute mindfulness meditation into your morning routine.
Seek Professional Help: Consider seeing a therapist or counselor to explore your purpose further.
Spiritual Steps:
Daily Meditation: Dedicate 10 minutes each day to meditation or deep breathing exercises.
Prayer Routine: Establish a regular prayer time to seek guidance and clarity.
Explore Spiritual Texts: Read a chapter from a spiritual or religious text each week.
Service Acts: Commit to one act of kindness or service per week. Help others, and your help will come from other sources. Reciprocity.
Biblical Steps:
Scripture Study: Read a Bible verse each day and reflect on its meaning in your life.
Join a Faith Community: Participate in weekly religious services or faith-based group meetings.
Faith Journaling: Keep a journal of prayers, reflections, and insights from your spiritual journey.
Live Your Faith: Align your daily actions with biblical teachings and values.
Social Steps:
Engage with Community: Volunteer for a local cause or join a community group that aligns with your interests.
Build Relationships: Schedule regular catch-ups with friends and family who inspire and support you.
Seek Role Models: Identify and learn from women who exemplify purposeful living.
Support Systems: Join or create support groups to share experiences and encouragement.
Practical Steps:
Skill Development: Take a course or workshop to develop a new skill that excites you.
Career Planning: Assess your current job and explore opportunities that align more closely with your passions.
Time Management: Use a planner to prioritize activities that contribute to your purpose.
Engage in Hobbies: Dedicate time each week to a hobby or interest that brings you joy and fulfillment.
Integrative Steps:
Holistic Reflection: Set aside time each week to reflect on how your psychological, spiritual, biblical, social, and practical steps are aligning.
Create an Action Plan: Develop a personal action plan that incorporates steps from each approach to guide you in living a purposeful life.
Stay Committed: Regularly review and adjust your action plan to stay aligned with your evolving sense of purpose.
By following these action steps, you can move from drifting to purposeful living, bringing clarity and fulfillment to your life.
Time to actually do something with all of this!
Before I roll out, it would be a disservice to you if I didn’t offer you the opportunity for support in implementing all of this.
Go right now to any page on this website and add your name and email to our subscriber list OR join our Facebook Group or one of our four Meetup Groups.
We will be inviting our community into our Global Women’s Transformation Collective Community at no cost to create opportunities for us to support each other in our implementation of peace, prosperity, and purpose.
More details to come! Get signed up or connected now if you aren’t already!
Catch me on my podcast, Strategic Transformations with Nikki, on Saturday mornings at 10 am EST. This Saturday you’ll hear me teach on this very subject. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
We will be bringing together three P’s of transformation on June 27th at 6:30 pm - 8 pm EST in a collaborative meeting of hearts and minds. I’ll be joined by Dr. Shavon Lamar as she brings her years of expertise and passion for holistic health and healing for women. Read her article from International Women’s Day here. Get signed up and have your questions ready!
Now go and…
Know. Love. & Be. Transformed.
